Robert Downey Jr. and Susan Downey would never have happened if she knew the ‘depths’ of his ‘depravity’

Robert Downey Jr. and Susan Downey have opened up about the early days of their relationship, with Robert candidly admitting that their marriage might not have happened if Susan had fully understood the challenges he was facing at the time.

A Hollywood Love Story Began on Gothika

The couple, who now share a thriving personal and professional partnership through their production company Team Downey, reflected on their journey in a profile for The Hollywood Reporter. Their story began in 2003 on the set of the thriller Gothika, where Susan was working as a producer, and Robert starred alongside Halle Berry and Penelope Cruz.

While Robert was immediately drawn to Susan and asked her out three times, she hesitated to mix romance with work. It was Susan’s first major producing credit, and she wasn’t eager to complicate her career by dating one of the film’s stars — particularly one with Robert’s history. At the time, Robert was in the midst of rebuilding his life and career after years of legal and personal struggles tied to his substance abuse issues, including arrests and jail time. Susan, who had never experimented with drugs herself, found his past intimidating and his personality “interesting but weird.”

Sobriety, a Second Chance, and a Long Engagement

Despite her initial reservations, Susan eventually agreed to a date. By then, Robert had begun his sobriety journey, describing it as his “exit strategy” from addiction. Within three months, he proposed — though he was still legally married to his first wife, Deborah Falconer, at the time.

Susan agreed to marry him, but with one non-negotiable condition: Robert had to give up drugs completely. “Addiction was so foreign to me,” Susan admitted. “I was incredibly ignorant of the hold it had on people.” For Robert, this naivety was a blessing. “If [Susan] knew the depths of my depravity, we would not be sitting here,” he confessed.

The couple married in 2005 after a years-long engagement, during which Robert fully committed to sobriety.

A Partnership in Life and Work

Their marriage has been anchored by their “two-week rule,” a promise never to go more than 14 days without seeing each other. This commitment deepened when they launched Team Downey, their production company. Together, they’ve worked on films such as The Judge, Dolittle, and the much-anticipated Sherlock Holmes 3.

Susan described Robert as a transformative force in her life, saying, “I had someone who came in as a tornado, this creative, beautiful ball of insane energy and passion, and it completely opened me up.”

Building a Family and Celebrating Success

The couple has two children, son Exton (born in 2012) and daughter Avri (born in 2014). Robert also shares a 31-year-old son, Indio, with his first wife, Deborah Falconer, and he co-parents with both Susan and Deborah.

Robert has often expressed gratitude for Susan’s impact on his life, most recently during his acceptance speech for Best Supporting Actor at the Oppenheimer premiere. “She loved me back to life,” he said, crediting her unwavering support for his personal and professional resurgence.

Their story is not just about overcoming obstacles but about creating a partnership rooted in love, trust, and shared dreams — both on and off the screen.